If there is one thing you can be certain of in South London it is that you are within a mile of a chicken shop at all times. This has not actually been proved, but as a friend of mine once said - ‘You’re in South London, flip a coin, if it’s heads go right, if it’s tails go left – you will find a Morley’s’. With so many chicken shops vying for customers, competition is bound to be fierce. One way to really separate the chicken sellers from the chicken shops is the name, be it trying to jump on the coat-tails of other already successful brands, or just putting any old word next to the word chicken, the results can be quite wonderful. Here are a collection of Six Hilarious Fried Chicken Shops Names in South London.
Favourable Chicken, Hither Green
Coming in warm and certainly not looking to be the best but there or thereabouts, it’s Favourable Chicken in Hither Green. Sometimes you don’t feel like having ‘perfect’ or your ‘favourite’ chicken - you know? You just want something that’s above average. That’s what you get at the honestly-named Favourable Chicken. This is the first example in this list of the results to be had in the knock-off chicken shop world. Look once, it’s merely another Favorite Chicken, look again, it’s actually Favourable Chicken.
Marks also for actually spelling ‘Favourable’ correctly and not just putting ‘Favorable’ cos those IDIOTS over at Favorite can’t get it right. Nor are Favourable Chicken to be confused with ‘Favoured Chicken’, in nearby Lee, whose use of the adjective combats their rival beautifully. We do however think that ‘Favour Fried Chicken’, in Bexley Borough, haven’t executed their branding with quite the same panache.
Every Fake Morley’s
There are plenty of Morley’s knock-offs in South London, and they take numerous forms such as Monleys, Mowley, Mowley’s. New Morlys in Brixton is our favourite. Like New York is to York, New Morlys is to Morley’s. It is our favourite for two reasons - the cheek to name your shop as if Morley’s is now the ‘old’ Morley’s should be applauded, and the exclusion of the ‘e’ and the apostrophe in ‘Morley’s’ to distance themselves from the Morley’s brand is very well-calculated. In terms of similar venues, there’s a New Morley’s in Croydon but we feel it lacks tact and reeks of criminality.
Ferfect Fried Chicken, Forest Hill
That’s right. Ferfect Fried Chicken. This is the only example of this type of brand-copying in South London. Rather than add a word, create a close name, remove a piece of punctuation – just make up a new word. An audacious move really. The ferfect move one could say. It is clear that this was at some point called Perfect Fried Chicken, and either the owners were using the brand without permission or they were at some point a Perfect Fried Chicken franchise and decided to go out on their own. Whatever the reason, the result is utterly ferfect.
Millennium Fried Chicken, Clapham
An incredibly helpful name as it showcases the shops staying power; they saw and lived through Y2K. This is chicken from and for the new millennium, forget chicken from the 1000s, this is chicken from the 2000s. Apparently this chicken was actually intended to be eaten as part of the Millennium Experience back when the O2 was the Millennium Dome and was going to be included in the ‘Faith Zone’ but was replaced at the last moment by the History of Christianity. This is also the chicken that Fergie was referring to in the Black Eyed Peas seminal track ‘Boom Boom Pow’. If you recall Fergie is ‘so three thousand and eight / you [Millennium Fried Chicken] [is] so two thousand and late’.
Gateway Chicken, New Cross
The only reason we can fathom as to why this is called Gateway Chicken is its proximity to New Cross Gate station, beyond that there appears to be no other obvious reason. Other than the fact that this chicken is dangerous. Oh it’s just chicken, I’ll just do it this once. WRONG. First it’s just chicken, but next? Ribs. Hell, even kebabs! Simply put, this chicken is the top of a very, very slippery and salty slope and you should be aware of the serious dangers posed by Gateway Chicken.
Chicken Planet, Croydon
Honestly, what more could you want? A planet made of chicken is incredibly hard to beat. While you have Chicken World in Brixton, this is a whole different thing. That’s simply a ‘world’ of chicken – the limits on what defines a world, as anyone who’s played a video game will know, are vague. If PC World can claim to be a ‘world’ then a ‘world’ can be seriously disappointing. A planet on the other hand, a planet is a planet. Whether it’s one of the smaller versions like Mercury or Pluto (RIP), or even a gaseous giant like Jupiter, you know where you stand with a planet. Planets are a big deal. By positing itself as the Chicken Planet, the owners of the Chicken Planet are suggesting that their shop, or planet, has an orbit and its own gravity - their customers are certainly drawn to them by something.
To see the full extent of London's obsession with strangely-named chicken eateries, check out this useful infographic, from imgur:
South East London Chicken Shop Clothing
Chicken shops are an integral part of South London identity - a fact made famous by the Chicken Connoisseur's 'Pengest Munch' series and perpetuated on every high street from Woolwich to Wandsworth. You can even now get your hometown artfully re-written in true chicken shop style.